Why My 'Good' Values Were Actually Holding Me Back

My honest confession about values that limit instead of liberate (and how to spot yours)

Hey Friend,

Last week, you discovered your inner GPS – those five core values that guide your decisions. But here’s something I didn’t tell you then: your values aren’t set in stone.

Sometimes the very principles that once kept you safe can become the invisible barriers that keep you stuck. Today, I want to share my own values with you – not as a perfect example, but as a work in progress that’s teaching me some uncomfortable truths.

My Inner GPS (For Now)

Here are the ten values currently guiding my life: Clarity • Peace • Health • Authenticity • Connections • Meaningful Work • Growth • Fun • Spirituality • Financial Freedom

Sounds lovely, doesn’t it? But dig deeper and you’ll find that I’m not living by these values the way I thought I was.

When Clarity Becomes a Limitation

Clarity sits at the top of my list. I value it so much that I won’t step into anything new without knowing nearly everything about the venture first. Sounds sensible, right?

Wrong.

This need for certainty has become my safety net and my limitation. It stops me from taking on new adventures because I’m waiting for perfect information that never comes. In my accounting work, this serves me well. Precision matters when you’re charging clients every six minutes. Clear answers are rewarded. Mystery would mean write-offs and chaos.

But in my personal life? In my 50s, when I should be exploring and creating? This value has me stuck in place.

What I’m learning now is this: clarity isn’t always something you have before you begin. Often, clarity comes after you step out in trust.

It’s like walking through fog. You don’t need to see the entire road, just the next step. As you keep walking, the fog lifts.

Mystery reveals itself in time.

That’s why I’m considering adding mystery to my list of core values. It feels like the perfect companion to clarity. Not a contradiction, but a balance.

Mystery invites me to lean into intuition, to explore what lights me up.

Clarity makes sure I don’t lose my footing. Both together? That’s freedom.

My limiting belief: If I don’t know exactly what I’m doing, I’ll mess it up or waste time.
My new understanding: Uncertainty invites me to live from intuition and discover what lights me up.

Health: The Value That Keeps Sliding

My second confession is about Health. It’s on my values list, but if I’m honest, it’s often the first thing I compromise.

When Health is truly my core value, every decision flows through it: what I eat for lunch, whether I park far from my destination and walk, how I structure my work-from-home days to include movement during the best weather and whether I have embraced enough rest in my day.

But too often, Health slips from core value to wishful thinking. It becomes something I want to prioritise whilst I’m grabbing fast food because I’m too busy to cook. I think “I should get more sleep” whilst scrolling my phone at 10pm.

Instead of guiding my choices, health becomes something I hope to get to “when I have more time.” Then I have to consciously move it back to the top of my list, because here’s the truth: life isn’t fun or adventurous when your physical, mental, and emotional health is suffering.

My goal is to live by Health as my number one value every moment of every day. Not as a “should,” but as a genuine priority that makes everything else possible.

Your Values Check-In

This brings me to you. It’s been a week since you identified your five core values. Time for some honest questions:

Which of your values is actually serving you right now?
Look at your decisions this week. Did your stated values guide them, or did you act from habit, fear, or obligation?

Which value has become a limitation rather than a liberation?
Sometimes what kept you safe in one season becomes what holds you back in the next. I needed clarity when I was building career security. But now it’s preventing me from creative exploration.

What belief or pattern is no longer serving you?
Behind every limiting value is usually a limiting belief. Mine was “uncertainty equals chaos.” What’s yours?

Is there a value missing from your list?
For me, it might be Mystery or Courage – values that would balance my need for clarity with space for growth.

The Values Evolution Exercise

I invite you to try this with me:

Step 1: Review Your Week
Look at your five values from last week. For each one, ask: “Did I actually live by this, or just wish I did?”

Step 2: Identify the Slippers
Which values slide down your priority list when life gets busy? (Health is my chronic slipper.)

Step 3: Spot the Limiters
Which value, whilst positive, might be holding you back from who you want to become?

Step 4: Consider What’s Missing
What value would transform how you show up in the world? What would you need to embrace more of to live your fullest life in this season?

Step 5: Edit Your List
Values aren’t permanent. You’re allowed to update them as you grow. What needs to go? What needs to be added?

The Courage to Evolve

Here’s what I’m learning: the values that got you here might not be the ones that take you there.

The clarity and security that helped me build a stable career are now the very things preventing me from building the creative life I want in my 50s. The health value I claim to prioritise keeps getting shoved aside by “more urgent” things.

Your values should serve your growth, not prevent it.

If you’re feeling stuck, restless, or like you’re living someone else’s life, check your values. Are they truly yours? Do they support who you’re becoming, or who you used to be?

This isn’t about throwing everything out and starting over. It’s about being brave enough to admit when something that once served you has become a limitation – and courageous enough to evolve.

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What value do you need to release? What value do you need to embrace? Reply and tell me – I read every response and what you share helps me and others to walk this adventurous life!

Next week, paid subscribers get Your Inner GPS Roadmap – the practical system for turning discovered values into daily decision-making power. I’ll share the exact frameworks I’m using to balance clarity with mystery, and the systems that are finally helping me make health non-negotiable. Because knowing what needs to change is only half the battle.

Rachel xx

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Ready for the roadmap to actually living your values instead of just knowing them? Paid subscribers get Your Inner GPS Roadmap next week – the practical system for turning discovered values into daily transformation.